Dearest Friends,

Thank you for your presences and your participation in our most recent gathering!

In our last session, we continued our exploration of the teaching of non-self (anattā). As I shared previously, the truth of non-self can be summarized in this way: Nothing that exists is a solid, stable or independent entity. When applied to the construct of the “self” more specifically, the dharma instructs us that the self is not a fixed and permanent essence but a dynamic interplay of ever-changing somatic, affective and cognitive processes. The dharma goes on to instruct us that clinging to the illusion of a solid self is what generates suffering and that loosening our grip on it is what leads to happiness, freedom and well-being.

At the same time, modern psychology reminds us that a coherent sense of self is necessary for daily functioning. A healthy ego helps us set boundaries, pursue goals and fulfill our commitments to the world. Without it, we risk confusion, fragmentation and instability.

Hence, the Middle Way here lies in recognizing and honoring the functional benefits that a sense of self provides—and then relinquishing this sense in all the other instances when it’s not necessary. In other words, we can treat the ego as a useful tool for practical life while remembering that it’s not ultimate reality. In Buddhist terms, this is the dance between conventional truth (the truth of the everyday “I” that cares for family and pays the bills) and ultimate truth (the truth that this “I” is merely a construct). Both perspectives are valid…and it’s mindfulness that supports us in discerning which perspective is most appropriate in any given situation.

SUGGESTED PRACTICE:

Sit quietly with your gaze lowered or your eyes half-closed. Take a few minutes to simply attend to your breath. When you feel ready, bring to mind one of the “selves” or identities you frequently inhabit, e.g., being a parent, a professional, a colleague, etc. Imagine holding this self or this identity consciously, like a tool in your hand. Imagine setting this tool down in the instances when it’s not needed. What shifts in your experience when you contemplate setting this self or this identity aside consciously? What comes up for you when you consider that you don’t need to carry it all the time? Take a few moments to reflect on your experience and then end your meditation on a note of gratitude for this identity and the many ways it’s been of service to the world.

REFLECTION PROMPTS:

• What did you discover or rediscover from undertaking the meditation?
• Which of your selves or identities feels most solid and what’s your experience of life like when you’re caught in the grip of these selves or identities?
• How might letting go of these selves or identities when they’re not needed bring a sense of ease, relief or well-being?
• What might support you in cultivating a flexible sense of self, i.e., one that you can dissolve in meditation but reassemble quickly for the purposes of living?