Dearest Friends,

Thank you for your presences and your participation at our most recent gathering.

In last week’s session, we explored what it might mean to befriend uncertainty and how trusting ourselves, other human beings and life itself can be empowering. Towards the end of our discussion, one of the members of our sangha asked a crucial question:

“What do we do when life has given us good reasons not to trust? What if trust feels inaccessible because of profound experiences of trauma, neglect, loss, disappointment and betrayal? What if life has taught us that the world is unpredictable, that other people are unsafe and that we ourselves are undependable?”

The question is important because, for many people, distrust has been appropriate and protective.

The dharma offers a gentle response. Rather than forcing us to put our faith in what feels unreliable, it invites us to notice a fundamental truth about reality, which is the fact that everything changes. This reminder can support us in the following ways:

• It Reminds Us That the Present Isn’t a Reiteration of the Past. One of the most debilitating effects of trauma is to leave survivors frozen in the past. Previous experiences of abandonment, abuse and wounding can be revivified in the present and often color the future. As a protective mechanism, the body-mind anticipates danger…even when danger isn’t present anymore. But the truth of impermanence invites us to ask: “Is this the same situation…and am I the same person I was back then?” The answer is almost always no. Conditions change. And we ourselves change.
• It Invites Us to Trust Change Rather to Trust Life Itself. For some people, trusting life can feel both impossible and undesirable. But we don’t need to start there. We can start with trusting the fact of change itself. When we pay attention, we begin to see that circumstances shift; that nothing is ever final or fixed. No fear lasts forever. No story remains unchanged. Even the parts of ourselves that feel wounded continue to evolve. And perhaps trust can begin here: not in certainty, but in the recognition that conditions are always changing.
• It Invites Us to Acknowledge Our Resilience. Often, trust is confused for believing that things will work out magically. This isn’t the kind of trust that the dharma fosters. We aren’t being asked to trust that specific outcomes will come to pass—but to trust in our capacity to meet whatever arises. After all, many (if not all) of us have already survived incredibly harrowing challenges. We’ve adapted, endured, healed and started over again many times. The evidence is the fact that we’re still here. Maybe trust can begin with remembering the resilience that has carried us this far.

SUGGESTED PRACTICE:

Sit quietly with your gaze lowered or your eyes half-closed. After a few moments, bring to mind a situation in your life where trust feels difficult. Notice what arises without trying to change it.

Then silently ask yourself: “Is this situation identical to the one that I experienced years ago?” Pause. Take a breath.

Again, silently ask yourself: “Am I the same person I was back then?” Pause again. Take another breath.

Notice what’s changed. Notice what’s been learned.

Then silently repeat: “Things are different now. I am different now. The story isn’t over yet.”

Rest for a few moments in the awareness that life continues to change.

And so do you.

REFLECTION PROMPTS:

• Where has a painful experience from the past influenced your ability to trust yourself, other people or life today?
• How might remembering impermanence help you distinguish between past conditions and present realities?
• What would it be like to trust your capacity to meet life, even when you can’t guarantee the outcome?