Dearest Friends,

In our ongoing journey through the Five Remembrances, we turned our attention to the Fourth Remembrance in our last gathering: “Everything and everyone dear to my heart, I will be parted from someday.”

For many practitioners, this particular truth is the hardest among the five to contemplate. The impermanence and the fragility of our connections with others is especially marked in this day and age for the following reasons:

• Global Mobility and Constant Migration: Global migration scatters families and friends across countries and continents, making bonds harder to sustain. Urbanization and relocation mean neighbors and colleagues change quickly, undermining long-term familiarity.
• Cultural Shifts and Ideological Divides: A greater emphasis on individualism and personal freedom can weaken familial and communal commitments. In addition, increasing polarization along ideological, political and religious lines often fractures families and friendships.
• Work Pressures and Time Scarcity: Multiple professional and personal demands leave people with much less time for nurturing relationships. Economic instability, job insecurity and financial stress also disrupt social bonds and weaken community ties.
• Virtual Bonds and Digital Connections: Modern communications technologies substitute deep, embodied presence for fleeting, digital contact. They multiply relationships, on the one hand, but also make them feel shallow and superficial, on the other.

In summary, practicing with the Fourth Remembrance today means meeting and holding the unique challenges to connection posed by modern causes and conditions. More than ever, we’re invited to cherish the bonds that we’ve made knowing how tenuous they are. More than ever, we’re invited to speak more gently, to listen more deeply, to forgive more readily…and to love more fiercely. As the beloved poet Mary Oliver instructs us: “To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes, to let it go.”

SUGGESTED PRACTICE:

Sit quietly and attend to your breath for a few minutes with your gaze lowered or your eyes closed. When you’re ready, bring to mind a being whom you love deeply. Imagine the inevitability of parting—not as a threat, but as the truth. Hold their presence in your heart with gratitude and love. Silently acknowledge: “Everything and everyone dear to my heart, I will be parted from someday.” Sit with this tender awareness for a few minutes. To conclude the meditation, silently say: “May my love flow freely, unconstrained by the fear of parting. May I cherish the moments spent with the beings who are precious to me. May the awareness of impermanence remind me to speak kindly, listen deeply and love tenderly.”

RECOMMENDED POEM:

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s Saying Goodbye

REFLECTION PROMPTS:

• How does or how might an ongoing awareness of eventual parting shape the way you love and care for others?
• In what ways might the Fourth Remembrance deepen your appreciation for ordinary moments?
• How can mindfulness and compassion help you hold both joy and sorrow in the same breath?